Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
