She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
