this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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