Sry I called you an 8
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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