i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize