It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
