Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
