Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
