Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
