Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
