she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
