i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
