your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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