I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize