No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
