She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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