is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
