forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
