Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
