i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
