I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So many bounce houses so little time
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
