I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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