We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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