It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
