I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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