so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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