everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
