oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
