if i died would you start the facebook group?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
