my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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