This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
