I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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