we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
