"it" just moved
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Holy shit dude........stairs
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
