He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Your penis caused this!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
