yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
