I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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