Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
