Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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