I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Still dying that you shit outside
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize