I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
