he puts the penis in happiness.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
