I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just high enough for therapy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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