so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
