We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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