I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
