I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
