You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
