its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
