ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just want nice things and good sex
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
