You made me cry and you don't even care
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
