why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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