so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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