he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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