can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
