So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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