More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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