I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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