I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize